At times we all desire for God to be our shield. Sadly many of the students I coach do not see the Lord as a refuge. Read More →
The Holy Spirit plays a much more important role in our lives than I realized prior to wrestling with how Jesus led and what that meant for me as a parent. As I studied Jesus and how He handled issues in broken people’s lives it was challenging. Whether it was the woman at the well, the adulterous woman or the disciples wanting to know who was greatest among them, Jesus’ response was caring, kind and vastly different than how I responded or reacted as a parent. Read More →
Great faith-based parents are able to Escape Pressure and Expectations.
This may be counter to what we have heard or believe. We have been told that high expectations lead to higher achievement.
Is this true when living under pressure and a list of expectations increases stress, decreases patience, and often leads to internal negativity? Pressure and Expectations can flow from within or be placed on us externally. When we face significant pressure from within we tend to be hard on ourselves and often end up feeling like we are consistently falling short. We may feel or believe we are either not good enough or even a failure. These deeply held internal feelings/beliefs cause us to be defensive, driven, or even withdrawn depending on the situation and our personalities. Any of these may lead to challenges in either our relationships or jobs.
Right now, when it comes to your children you may not see how “handle with love” can make for good results. Last week we explored why we need to focus on our kids’ progress rather than the destination or the desired outcome in their lives. As parents it is easy to slip into the mindset that we are the ones who need to change our kids. This mindset subtly focuses us on their behavior, poor decisions and shortcomings. This can lead to frustration on both sides and emotional distance growing between us and our children. As the distance grows I have founds kids’ behavior, their willingness to listen and help, diminishes which often becomes a vicious cycle.
Prior to my journey of heart healing I had intellectually forgiven the sources of the stuffed issues and pain within me. Yet without having turned and dealt with the harm within, it was not a full forgiveness. As the negative beliefs I had adopted came to the forefront and the sources of those beliefs were identified, it was clear that my forgiveness was incomplete.
I had to truly begin to heal within before I could truly forgive in such a manner that I did not seek to guard and protect myself from those I had intellectually forgiven. Read More →
Given that our culture is not a culture of grieving it seems only natural that we would learn to stuff our feelings only to reach a point where our hearts shut down because of unresolved issues with our parents, others or things outside our control which lead to the amount of pain we carry inside. Read More →
Healing within makes a huge difference in relationships within a family. Disappointments and wounds of the past cause fear, distrust or anger. When those things trigger something within us, we often assess the full weight of the uncomfortable or angry feelings to something our kid or spouse said or did. Had those sensitive spots or pools of pain in our hearts been healed, the impact of what was said or done would not have kicked off such strong feelings of pain, anger or hurt. This is just one of the reasons healing within is so important. Removing the pool of pain and triggers makes it far easier to be the type of loving, listening and strategic parent we desire to be. Read More →