Archive for parenting

Fear and Our Kids

Welcome back to revive families connecting hearts blog. We’ve been in the midst of a series on patience. Given everything going on with the Coronavirus and the fear I see growing, I thought it might be a great time to stop and take a short break from the patience series and talk a little bit about fear and our kids. 

There are many reasons to be fearful and or worry today as may States like California are ordering shelter in place restrictions and businesses to be shut down. There is fear of the virus but also fears about jobs and the economy.  All of these are legitimate concerns, but questions arise; how do we deal with our fears and how do we handle them with our kids? Read More →

Patience & Emotional Triggers

I’m glad to be back with you this week as we continue in the series Discovering our Patience. When we began the series last week, we talked about a number of challenging things.

  1. The root of impatience is selfishness.
  2. 10 Tips to Help You Become a More Patient Parent. The article’s first point was: “Know that it’s not your child, it’s you.” That is not a fun or popular realization to come to as a parent but essential to the relationship with our kids.
  3. Seek to understand and see things through your child’s perspective.

These are vital if we’re going to become patient parents. In fact, most kids I coach have a number of things bottled up within that they don’t feel they’ll be able to resolve with their parents. When I help kids identify these things with their parents, light bulbs go on and parents respond, “Wow, I didn’t realize you were feeling that way.” Working with my own kids I have found that when I take the time to really understand their perspective and see things through their eyes, it’s amazing how much I come to understand them. I have much more mercy and compassion for them and as a result I have a lot more patience as well.

If you missed last week’s blog post or podcast, I recommend you go to our blog page or podcast page and listen as it sets the stage for this week’s topic, emotional triggers. Read More →

Faith Loss Through a Teens Eyes

Today we’re back with Amy who was with her family talking about depression last week.

Amy is a brave young woman for talking with us about many different issues. She serves as our insider speaking from a kid’s or adolescent’s perspective into so many of their issues. Amy, it’s great to have you back with us. Thank you so much. I have a question. Why are you willing to do this?

I Want to Help Others Understand and Grow

That is kind of a tough question for me. I think I’ve always been the type of person to want to help people before myself. After we did the first show, I realized that doing the show and helping other people really helped me grow and begin to overcome these things. It was really beneficial and powerful to speak openly and share with others.

Excellent. We’re hoping that this will help parents. We’re also hoping that we might have some parents who have their kids tune in with them so you could help those kids feel like they’re not alone in some of this as well. It’s great to have you.

A 14 Year Old’s Perspective on Faith Loss

Today we are talking about the loss of faith. There are different studies; some say 60%, 70%, 80% and even as high as 90% of the kids growing up in Christian homes are leaving the faith. I’ve had the privilege of working with about 3000 kids, talking about this topic with them in small groups and one on one interviews. I have a whole bunch of data in the back of my head related to that, but it’s always good to get a current 14 year old’s perspective directly as so many parents worry about this with their kids.

Read More →

Mama Bear: Amazing Moms/Single Moms

Welcome back to Mama Bear, Amazing Moms. In today’s blog, I want to take some time to encourage single moms as well as the dads that are no longer with them. Single moms face a unique challenge, especially if they have the kids a majority of the time. They not only face that long 98 hour work week that the study found the average mom experiences, but now they face doing that without a partner, without someone to step in when things get rocky with the kids.

Single moms often find themselves under more financial pressure. As a result they have a harder time finding breaks for themselves as well as finding time in each day to enjoy their children. Dads, this is where you can help even if you’re no longer with them. There are a number of things you can do as dads that will support your kids’ mom and thereby really give your kids the best shot at growing up in a healthy, positive, confident, successful manner.

Dads help your Ex 

As I’ve worked with families that have been through divorce, one thing that I’ve seen too often is parents not being able to let go of the past hurt, which can lead to ongoing bitterness and conflict between the parents. This doesn’t help a single mom do a great job and lead to kids growing up in a confident, healthy way. Dads, please stop and ask yourself if you’ve been providing your ex wife the support, the encouragement, and all the assistance you can provide, if not for her, for your kids. Do it for their development so that they grow up without the baggage, without the wounds that can take them down negative paths that none of us want to see our kids go down.

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Mama Bear: Amazing Moms Dealing with Stress

Thank you for joining me this week for Revive Family’s Connecting Hearts Blog as we continue in the series “Mama Bear – Amazing Moms.”

Last week we looked at the study that shows that the average mom works about 98 hours a week or 2.5 full time jobs. In many ways, moms are stronger than dads. They use more words every day than men, they have more emotional bandwidth, and clearly they have stamina to put in these kinds of hours. So I tip my hat to you moms out there who are listening. Dads, listen, this series is important for you too!

If you missed last week’s kickoff, I’d encourage you to go back and read or listen to it on our site. It was a really important blog for both moms and dads because it talks about the impact all these hours can have on moms. Dads, in this first session we see why it’s really important for our moms to get breaks.

When Moms are not Happy, Families are not Happy

Moms are amazing! They serve as the center of our families while facing more pressure and time constraints than ever before. According to all the research, this leaves many moms feeling weary, maybe even isolated or on the verge of burnout. The sheer number of hours that moms work, the pressure to be ‘super mom’ and the pressure that moms tend to put on themselves can take the joy out of life. If moms aren’t happy, research shows that families aren’t happy.

This week we’re going to talk about dealing with the stress and isolation a mom can experience. Read More →

Unlock the Secrets of the Good Shepherd

Let’s Revive Our Families:
Unlocking the Secrets of the Good Shepherd

Come explore how we lead in a manner that will have our kids chasing us around the lake like the Good Shepherd.  Imagine having such influence in your kids lives.  Influence that has them looking up to you, seeking your advice, and involving you in their decisions. We wonder is this even possible today? It is!

How do we achieve such influence in our kids’ lives and maintain it through the adolescent years?  These are the questions Jeff sought to answer in his research given what he saw happening with his oldest Heather. This search led to unconventional wisdom that has parents saying “I wish I had heard this sooner!” Come interact with Jeff and explore how arrive at a place of lasting influence.

Join Jeff Schadt May 5th at Westside Vineyard Church for an interactive exploration of how we gain amazing influence in our kids lives.  Come for dinner at 5:30 with your family because the evening includes a session for Middle School and High School Students called It’s Your Life that will help them take more responsibility for their success.  Saturday the 5th costs just $20 per family.

You will not be disappointed!

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