Archive for Parenting

Essential T’s of Family Connection (pt 1)

In the Book of Deuteronomy in the Bible God tells Moses “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Deut. 6:5-7

Clearly God shares the importance of His instruction, but this exhortation also pictures a family where conversation and closeness occur. In verses 20 and 21 God says, “When your son asks you in time to come, What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the Lord our God has commanded you? Then you shall say …” Equally clear, then, is that curious questioning and trusted instruction are involved. Implied in these verses is that the family is to be a place where relationship is of utmost importance, both with God and with one another. Read More →

Prior to my journey of heart healing I had intellectually forgiven the sources of the stuffed issues and pain within me.  Yet without having turned and dealt with the harm within, it was not a full forgiveness. As the negative beliefs I had adopted came to the forefront and the sources of those beliefs were identified, it was clear that my forgiveness was incomplete.

I had to truly begin to heal within before I could truly forgive in such a manner that I did not seek to guard and protect myself from those I had intellectually forgiven.  Read More →

Even in Seemingly Good Times, Our Kids Struggle

Recently I worked with a family that was by all measures successful and yet their kids were struggling.  They lived in a great area, had plenty of resources and the kids enjoyed more activities and opportunities than their parents had.

Given this reality it was hard for the parents to understand why both their kids struggled in significant ways.  One struggled with depression and anxiety, while the other had motivation issues with school and a significant anger issue.

This amazing couple could not understand why their kids would not or could not be grateful for their situation, take advantage of the opportunities and move forward confidently.  After all, to them, their kids were treated better than they were when they were kids and they had so much more to be appreciative of. Read More →

What to ask your six to eighteen year olds?

How to Develop Emotional Communication to Help Your Six to Eighteen-Year-Old

When our children reach adolescence, as a result of the changes occurring within their brain development, they become more emotional.  Children age 9 to 18 become more sensitive to the things we say and do. This is the reason I recommend that parents begin to ask emotionally focused questions with their children beginning as early as age six. This helps to establish communication before brain development begins to change. Read More →

In the midst of this unprecedented time in our country, parents are having to deal with kids being at home more than ever. When we have adolescents, that can present some challenges, which is why I decided to do the series 9 Insights Parents Need to Know When They are Raising Adolescents.
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Empowering Patience Today

Welcome back, we’re picking backup on our series, Discovering our Patience after taking a break to talk about Corona, Fear and Our Kids.  

Over the last couple of weeks we’ve talked about triggers and rounding our personality type. I can’t understate how important it is to tackle our triggers for our lives, relationships and families.  Addressing them will bring freedom; we won’t have to be self-controlled all the time, which is really exhausting. If you missed these blogs I encourage you to go back and read them.

Short Circuit Reactions Today

Meanwhile you may need some things to do that will help short circuit reactions.  This is why we are discussing how we Empower our patients today. I found a good article in my research entitled: 10 Tips for Becoming a More Patient Parent. It had a number of tips we can  implement today with our kids.  Read More →

Fear and Our Kids

Welcome back to revive families connecting hearts blog. We’ve been in the midst of a series on patience. Given everything going on with the Coronavirus and the fear I see growing, I thought it might be a great time to stop and take a short break from the patience series and talk a little bit about fear and our kids. 

There are many reasons to be fearful and or worry today as may States like California are ordering shelter in place restrictions and businesses to be shut down. There is fear of the virus but also fears about jobs and the economy.  All of these are legitimate concerns, but questions arise; how do we deal with our fears and how do we handle them with our kids? Read More →

Patience & Emotional Triggers

I’m glad to be back with you this week as we continue in the series Discovering our Patience. When we began the series last week, we talked about a number of challenging things.

  1. The root of impatience is selfishness.
  2. 10 Tips to Help You Become a More Patient Parent. The article’s first point was: “Know that it’s not your child, it’s you.” That is not a fun or popular realization to come to as a parent but essential to the relationship with our kids.
  3. Seek to understand and see things through your child’s perspective.

These are vital if we’re going to become patient parents. In fact, most kids I coach have a number of things bottled up within that they don’t feel they’ll be able to resolve with their parents. When I help kids identify these things with their parents, light bulbs go on and parents respond, “Wow, I didn’t realize you were feeling that way.” Working with my own kids I have found that when I take the time to really understand their perspective and see things through their eyes, it’s amazing how much I come to understand them. I have much more mercy and compassion for them and as a result I have a lot more patience as well.

If you missed last week’s blog post or podcast, I recommend you go to our blog page or podcast page and listen as it sets the stage for this week’s topic, emotional triggers. Read More →

Mama Bear: Amazing Moms/Single Moms

Welcome back to Mama Bear, Amazing Moms. In today’s blog, I want to take some time to encourage single moms as well as the dads that are no longer with them. Single moms face a unique challenge, especially if they have the kids a majority of the time. They not only face that long 98 hour work week that the study found the average mom experiences, but now they face doing that without a partner, without someone to step in when things get rocky with the kids.

Single moms often find themselves under more financial pressure. As a result they have a harder time finding breaks for themselves as well as finding time in each day to enjoy their children. Dads, this is where you can help even if you’re no longer with them. There are a number of things you can do as dads that will support your kids’ mom and thereby really give your kids the best shot at growing up in a healthy, positive, confident, successful manner.

Dads help your Ex 

As I’ve worked with families that have been through divorce, one thing that I’ve seen too often is parents not being able to let go of the past hurt, which can lead to ongoing bitterness and conflict between the parents. This doesn’t help a single mom do a great job and lead to kids growing up in a confident, healthy way. Dads, please stop and ask yourself if you’ve been providing your ex wife the support, the encouragement, and all the assistance you can provide, if not for her, for your kids. Do it for their development so that they grow up without the baggage, without the wounds that can take them down negative paths that none of us want to see our kids go down.

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Mama Bear: Amazing Moms (Releasing the Stress)

Hey, it’s great to be back with you again this week. I’m Jeff Schadt, the founder of Revive Family, and we’re continuing in the series, “Mama Bear, Amazing Moms. You moms really are amazing! My research has opened my eyes and even slapped me in the face a bit because moms work an average of 98.5 hours a week. It is no wonder so many moms are tired. Dads, this is why I hope you are listening to this series so you gain some insights into how you can come alongside your wife and help her get the breaks she needs.

In session one we talked about the risk of amazing moms being able to do it all. Putting in all those hours and emotional energy puts them at risk of a state of exhaustion.

In session two of this series, we addressed all the stress and pressure moms feel: the internal pressure they put on themselves, societal pressures, and the pressures moms tend to put on each other.

In this session we’re talking about how moms can take some of the stress and pressure off of themselves and raise content, happy, caring kids.

Last week in session two I mentioned a Harvard study that shows kids of working moms grow up just as happy as those with stay-at- home moms. Does that surprise you? It did me a bit because I’ve been raised in a culture that tells me that stay-at-home moms will have happier, more successful kids. I think this is part of the reason I found doing the research with 4,000 kids so challenging, because I had adopted a mindset that focused on the right and wrong in parenting. The kids blew me out of the water over and over again. One aspect of parenting that really challenged me was kids’ need for autonomy.

Autonomy is Important for Kids and Scary for Parents

 

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