Prior to my journey of heart healing I had intellectually forgiven the sources of the stuffed issues and pain within me. Yet without having turned and dealt with the harm within, it was not a full forgiveness. As the negative beliefs I had adopted came to the forefront and the sources of those beliefs were identified, it was clear that my forgiveness was incomplete.
I had to truly begin to heal within before I could truly forgive in such a manner that I did not seek to guard and protect myself from those I had intellectually forgiven.
The only way for me to truly enter a healthy relationship with these people was to grieve and begin to heal within. It was then that I could truly forgive and not harbor fears, mistrust and some measure of bitterness within. Forgiveness is far easier when we allow ourselves to grieve and pursue healing within. It was not until my heart began to beat again that I could even perceive the hidden realities in my heart that were hidden from my consciousness. If you are struggling within, I recommend you listen to a song called “Tell Your Heart to Beat Again” by Danny Gokey.
Healing starts with Honesty
I would not have believed that our hearts could shut down to the point of not perceiving the negativity we hold within about ourselves and those who have hurt us if I had not experienced the shutdown myself and had Pat look me in the eyes and say, “Your heart is shut down. My assignment for you is to feel bad.”
I will never forget how I mocked those words in the back of mind and yet how profoundly true I discovered they were in the following weeks. I know for many it is hard to believe this is possible or vital to our own well-being and the well-being of our families and relationships. Along my personal journey and through my research with thousands of kids it is now crystal clear just how important it is to seek and pursue internal understanding, recognition and healing.
Honesty Leads to Good Heart Health, thus to Healthy Relationships
In the Book of Proverbs the author says, “Turn your ear to wisdom and your heart to understanding” (Proverbs 2:2) and “Above all else, Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” (Proverbs 4:23) When we dig deep to understand our own hearts, to heal from the lies we’ve been told or told ourselves, and then guard against those old negative thoughts affecting how we deal with others we are on our way to healthy relationships. Prior to my heart healing I was a rules and consequences parent focused on facts, behavior and performance. The awakening of my heart helped me see my kids differently and the importance of mining the depths of their hearts rather than whacking away at the surface. The recognition of my own brokenness helped me see the importance of a relationship that grants us access to our kids’ hearts. It also made it clear how crucial it is to help our kids tell us the truth about how what we say and do impacts them and their hearts. If we want to raise healthy kids and avoid the generational cycle of negative things being passed down to our kids we need to make the commitment to pursue what lies within each of us as parents and choose a different path with our own kids.
Influential Parenting helps parents target the hearts of their kids and gives us a way to lead that grants us access and influence to help our kids make great decisions without the battles traditional parenting creates in the relationship with our kids. Sign up to take our online class today. Influential Parenting Academy.