Recently we have seen a growing emphasis on the Spirit in the Body of Christ. I know that talking about the Spirit can make some of us uneasy for a variety of reasons.
Even if this is the case, let me encourage you to read on as I believe the Spirit can make our role as parents more enjoyable.
Great faith-based parents are citizens of heaven. What it means to be a citizen of God’s holy nation is something we should ponder. Today the world and our nation may give us pause for concern. We face what appears to be more and more pressure to conform to the world’s narratives, ideas and beliefs.
Last week we explored how our faith and relationship with Jesus can help us escape the pressure and expectations we face today as parents. Escaping the pressure at bay is essential if we want to keep our kids’ hearts close to us and encourage a faith that lasts.
Right now, when it comes to your children you may not see how “handle with love” can make for good results. Last week we explored why we need to focus on our kids’ progress rather than the destination or the desired outcome in their lives. As parents it is easy to slip into the mindset that we are the ones who need to change our kids. This mindset subtly focuses us on their behavior, poor decisions and shortcomings. This can lead to frustration on both sides and emotional distance growing between us and our children. As the distance grows I have founds kids’ behavior, their willingness to listen and help, diminishes which often becomes a vicious cycle.
Only twice in the New Testament does God the Father speak audibly to mankind; once at the baptism of Jesus and secondly on a mountain when Jesus was revealed in glory to Peter, James and John. All of the first 3 gospels record the events. Not to be disrespectful in any way, but I can’t help but picture the Father up there looking down, placing his thumbs behind His lapels, puffing out His chest and saying, “Datsa my Boy!” (I think that’s in an Italian translation!). And in each case he calls Jesus “my beloved son”. How do you think Jesus felt on hearing that? And could there be a more joyful, affirming sound to a son or daughter than hearing his or her father bragging about his love for them?
In this series we will delve into the most important topic, Love. When we are feeling loved we feel special, content and happy. When we are feeling rejected, we feel hurt, angry and withdrawn. Keeping a sense of love alive between family members is challenging given our pace of life. Activities and commitments pull us apart and create pressure on both parents and kids. Read More →
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart…“. So begins Proverbs 3:5. And over a hundred times the Bible talks about trusting God. “Sure” you say, “God presents Himself, and is presented as totally trustworthy. He does not lie and is holy and without flaw. Trustworthiness flows out of His perfect character. So that means I can, and should, trust Him.”
Trust is a tricky topic Read More →
Healing within makes a huge difference in relationships within a family. Disappointments and wounds of the past cause fear, distrust or anger. When those things trigger something within us, we often assess the full weight of the uncomfortable or angry feelings to something our kid or spouse said or did. Had those sensitive spots or pools of pain in our hearts been healed, the impact of what was said or done would not have kicked off such strong feelings of pain, anger or hurt. This is just one of the reasons healing within is so important. Removing the pool of pain and triggers makes it far easier to be the type of loving, listening and strategic parent we desire to be. Read More →
Recently I worked with a family that was by all measures successful and yet their kids were struggling. They lived in a great area, had plenty of resources and the kids enjoyed more activities and opportunities than their parents had.
Given this reality it was hard for the parents to understand why both their kids struggled in significant ways. One struggled with depression and anxiety, while the other had motivation issues with school and a significant anger issue.
This amazing couple could not understand why their kids would not or could not be grateful for their situation, take advantage of the opportunities and move forward confidently. After all, to them, their kids were treated better than they were when they were kids and they had so much more to be appreciative of. Read More →
When our children reach adolescence, as a result of the changes occurring within their brain development, they become more emotional. Children age 9 to 18 become more sensitive to the things we say and do. This is the reason I recommend that parents begin to ask emotionally focused questions with their children beginning as early as age six. This helps to establish communication before brain development begins to change. Read More →